You Make Beautiful Things . . . Out of the Dust: November 2013

I want to write a little about how you're different from your sister Quinn. Your eyes look like they may be blue where as Quinn has brownish/hazel eyes. Your skin tone is more reddish where as Quinn's skin is more olive. Quinn had twice as much hair when she was born and it continues to grow longer and longer. You spit up more and maybe have reflux, with Quinn we hardly used the burp rags or bibs. You nurse much better than Quinn did, although some days you don't eat as well, and you're gaining weight more quickly. You're much bigger than Quinn was which gives me peace of mind about your eating. You want to be held all day long or worn in the sling. You are up every couple hours at night to nurse and sometimes have trouble going back to sleep because you are grunting and uncomfortable, I'm not sure why, maybe it's gas or reflux. Quinn was up a lot at night also, it took a long time to nurse her and was frustrating but then she usually went right back to sleep. You are still in our room sleeping in a cosleeper next to my bed, Quinn was in her crib pretty early on but I don't remember at what point. Quinn never took a pacifier and rarely took a bottle because we didn't start her with those early on since breast-feeding was difficult, but you take a bottle like a champ and you like the pacifiers as well, although keeping them in at night is a challenge. You love to look at lights. Not so much at mommy or daddy's faces yet but lights you love. I can't believe you are already six weeks old.

As for me, adjusting to life with two kids, well I love you both dearly but some days are hard. This morning I woke up covered in pee and breastmilk because I changed your diaper on our bed in the middle the night and you peed all over the sheets but I was too tired to change them, and breastmillk because you weren't eating well and I was engorged and leaking everywhere. That's more funny than anything and I've learned to laugh at the mess. Then after my shower today when I was nice and clean with fresh clean clothes I brought you downstairs to cuddle up with daddy and Quinn and within the first minute you projectile spit up all over yourself and me, so we went upstairs to change again.

Last night I was frustrated trying to juggle cooking dinner and keeping you and your sister happy. We do okay usually during the day, but by late afternoon waiting for daddy to get home is when I begin to get restless. I really wish your father could be home earlier so that I could have some help after Quinn's nap because by then I'm so exhausted and I need to start dinner. Last night I was trying to make pancakes and I put you down, you started crying hysterically and at the same time Quinn needed to use the potty. Since she's too short to get on the toilet herself I have to lift her up, meanwhile you are wanting to be held and crying. After I got her off the toilet and picked you up, I tried to make pancakes with one hand. Quinn wanted to feed the dogs. I let her help feed the dogs and she spilled dog food all over the floor. It seems that life is full of messes. :) I laughed it off by making a funny Facebook post about it and it's so great to have other mom friends who are encouraging.

My mom friends with two kids say it will get easier once your little bit older and it's easier as Quinn gets older and more independent as well. I look forward to life with two being easier and for us to have a good routine down, but at the same time I do not wish to rush things. I feel like the six weeks that you've been in my arms has already flown by and I want to have the time to enjoy you at every stage. I love you so much and you are already growing up too fast. It's hard to slow down and enjoy all the little moments together, it's hard to find time to write on the blog and post pictures so that I can remember all those little moments and share them with you, but I'll do my best with what I have.

Today I hold you against my chest while you sleep peacefully and feel your sweet little breaths on my neck. You are my son. I am your momma.