This is my new nickname for you. Your sister likes to call you SoyBoy, or SoySauce, or Baby GoyGoy? but you are now my little Blondie. You have a full head of crazy, beautiful, light blonde hair. And bright eyes to match. Your personality has been shining through as you continue to make us all laugh and melt to your charms. You are moving around a lot nowadays, pulling up on everything, getting stronger and more stable on those chubby legs of yours. You also copy sounds and intonations like "Uh oh" or "No no" or the way your sister says "Amen" at the end of her prayer.
We are beginning to transition to one nap (I think). You are still waking at night to nurse and depending on if you are getting teeth, that may be multiple times. You don't nurse well during the day because you are so distract by everything and just want to get down and play. You don't eat well either, mostly the food gets thrown on the floor. So I make smoothies for you and fill food pouches with blends of fruits and veggies and chia seeds, and try not to worry about the things I can't control.
When you do quiet in my arms at night, you now like to play with the little hairs at the back of my neck. Or if you are feeling more like playing then nursing, you slap my face playfully with your little hand and I play along turning my head and making a surprised sound. Or you grab my hand and place it on your belly asking me to tickle you and then giggle hysterically. You can now sign when you want to nurse by tapping your chest. It is very sweet.
You sometimes get jealous when I hold Quinn, or another baby, shrieking and crawling over as fast as you can to climb your way into my lap. You will go to most people to be held for a moment and then it's back to Mom. And I adore getting your sweet squeezes. You are a good mix of playing alone or with Quinn and wanting to be in my arms. Somedays are harder then others, if you are clingy because your teeth are hurting or who knows what else, and I can't hardly put you down to make dinner or go to the bathroom. But I try to remember, as I do when you cry for me in the middle of the night, that these days will fly by entirely too fast. So I'll hold you through my back aching and rock you with my sleepy eyes and groggy head.
And in the dark I will try to remember what I recently read in a very good book "Surprised By Motherhood"...
I want you to know Sawyer, God knit you together in the secret dark. God knew you, He delighted in you, He sung over you in the dark, secret hours of spinning life out of strands of DNA- an artist at work, creating and shaping another Adam-child in His image. It is the shape the Father sculpted in the beginning and the shape the Christ-Son took. It is the ancient, familiar form that is still somehow new every time we see it fitted over a new soul.
"This was the gift. That even though I was broken and my soul stained, the Creator still invited me to cocreate and sustain life with Him. I am His [child]. [He] is mine. We are both grafted into His heartbeat."
This month I am praying this for you and your sister (and myself):
Jesus, we pray to fall more in love with you each day and to know you as our Savior all our lives. Amen.
I love you my little Blondie.
.jpg)
