Dog Food

Little girl, you are strange :p  Here is what happened yesterday.

Me: "Here Quinn, try this yummy chicken burger."
You, while running away from me smirking: (I have my mouth full of dog food and mom doesn't even know it yet.)

You are so silly.  TWICE yesterday you snuck dog food into your little squirrel cheeks.  Quinn, my love, that is soooo gross.  Why do you prefer dog food over a delicious chicken burger?  Once I realized you had a mouthful of dog food and thoroughly scooped it out with my finger and rinsed out your mouth, I finally got you to take the piece of chicken burger.  You touched it to your tongue, made I face, and promptly walked into the bathroom, lifted up the toilet lid, and threw it into the toilet.  I couldn't help but laugh.

18 Months!

You turned 18 months old last Sunday.  Here are some things about you:

You are 19lbs, 6oz and 29.5 inches tall

You love to try to sing the ABCs and you love doing the actions to “the wheels on the bus”.  My favorite is when I sing “the mommies on the bus go ‘shh, shh, shh’” and you put your little finger up to your mouth and say “shh, shh, shh”.  You do the same things when we go to the library and I tell you that we have to be quiet. 

We’ve been listening to 2 CDs by Dino O’Dell in the car that you seem to enjoy.  During the 3 second pause between the songs you clap your hands and exclaim “MORE?! MORE?!”  I have to admit that I also enjoy the music, which Daddy thinks is funny.    

You crack me up when you nod your head and get a serious look on your face and say "gentle, gentle" while slowly stroking or face, or hair, a book page, a baby, the dogs, etc.  Whenever you get to rough with something we just say "Quinn, be gentle." and you nod your head and say "gentle, gentle".

You like to try to put on your hats and gloves and wear them around the house.  You've been giving lots of scowls lately which makes me laugh.
 

 You love to "help" me cook.  Here we are making some healthy muffins with 2 whole oranges (peel and everything), flax seeds, oat and wheat germs, whole wheat flour . . . and some yummy brown sugar of course. :)

  

Playing dress up with your best friends.

January Christmas Party with some old Mizzou friends.

Bucket Head! Here you are signing "please" because you are obsessed with c-r-a-c-k-e-r-s.

Here is your first manicure!  Beautiful blue nails.  You did a great job sitting still on my lap and letting me paint your tiny nails.

You are obsessed with drinking water out of my cup.  You can reach up on my bedside table now, so you take it down and then eventually you pull the straw out and the water gets dumped all over the carpet.

See You Soon!/ Welcome Home!

In just 7 hours you will be back in my arms sweet girl!  Daddy and I are sitting at the John Wayne Airport in Orange County, CA waiting for our flight.  You have been having such a great time with Grandma and the rest of the family.  I know you've gotten so much love and attention.  I didn't even cry the last half of the vacation because every time I called to check on you, you were doing great.  You slept great, napped long, ate well- I couldn't have hoped for a better week for you.  You got to go on walks down on the trail with the dogs, see the animals and fish at Bass Pro shop, visit the Springfield nature center, visit the library, and play with Aunt Paige and all the great grand parents!  What fun you've had!  I can't wait to see your shining, happy face.  Love you!


UPDATE:
We made it back to you and we got the sweetest welcome home.  Grandma was holding you on the other side of the security doors and when you saw us you started waving and yelling "Maaaaaaa-meeee".  I half ran to you and you reached out to me and gave me the biggest hug then you looked over and said "Daddy!" and reach over to him to hold you.  A few minutes later I put down on the floor to play while we waited for our baggage and you started to "moonwalk" backwards and then stopped and ran to me with your arms open and fell into me yelling "Mommy!"  You were so, so sweet.

vacation- i miss you

Dear Quinn,

It’s Monday night, my second night away from you and my heart hurts so bad.  How can I go through 4 more nights of not putting you to bed and 5 more mornings not waking up to see you.  Grandma told me that you slept ok last night but that you woke up at 6 am wanting me.  I miss you so much.  I wake up wanting you too.  I want to nurse you, I want to cuddle you in my arms, I want to hear your sweet little voice and see your sweet little smile.  When I told Aunt Chrissy how much I was missing you and that you were asking for me she said “Of course she’s gonna ask for you.  You’re her whole life!  Her beastie.” :)

I know that it’s good for Daddy and me to spend time together but I just wish our trip was shorter.  Today we went to Joshua Tree National Park and went hiking.  It felt good to be outside being active.  We hiked up to the top of a tall mountain called Ryan’s Mountain.  It had a great view of the desert and the other mountains.  I was disappointed that we didn’t see any cool animals.  I was hoping to see big horned sheep, but I was glad to not see any rattle snakes.  Daddy and I talked about how one day we would take you to some of the national parks.  After hiking all day we went to eat at a Mexican restaurant.  On the way back to the condo I cried and cried because I am missing you so much and just wanted to be coming home to see you.  I know you are having so much fun with Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Paige and that they are taking such good care of you.  I was hoping to Skype with you tomorrow, even though I know it will be hard and make me sad, but I want to see you and hear your voice.  Unfortunately the internet here is not working!  We are trying to fix it and I hope it works out soon.  I love you, love you, love you.  

 

Dear Quinn- our weaning letter

I wrote this last week but couldn't post it until now bc the internet was down.

Dear Quinn,

Sunday is your 18 month birthday, and it is also the day that Mommy and Daddy will leave for our first vacation without you.  You are staying with Grandma and Grandpa, and I know they will take great care of you and you will have so much fun.  I will have a hard time leaving you and will miss you so much because I’ve never been away from you for more than a few hours.  But in a few days we will be back and you will be in my arms again.  

This brings me to the real purpose of the letter.  Since this is our first time apart overnight, I won’t be there to nurse you at night before bed or in the morning when you wake up.  I thought about weaning you before this trip but I just couldn’t do it.  It was too much to wean you on top of leaving you for a week.  I also realized that this trip would be the only reason I was weaning you.  You see I am completely content with the way things are going with your nursing and sleeping, and so are you.  There is no reason to mess with our perfect set up.  We finally have a good rhythm going and have been enjoying it for months.  But it is very important for Mommy and Daddy to take this trip together and have some time to ourselves.  My “plan” is to pump while I am away and when I get back, if you still want to nurse, we can pick up where we left off.  As for you, it breaks my heart that I won’t be there to hold you and rock you and nurse you.  But from what I’ve read, at this age you will know that since I am not there you can’t nurse, and Grandma and Grandpa will just offer you milk and rock you and hold you the same that I would.  I’m sure it will be harder on me then on you, at least that’s what I hope.  But just in case I stop making milk or you decide to be done nursing once I return, I wanted to write you this letter.  And if we continue to nurse then I will save this letter for the day that you do wean.

This is a big day for both of us.  This is something we have shared your entire life that we will never have again.  I have so many fond memories of nurturing you at my breast.  I remember the first time, when they brought you in from the NICU and I saw and held you for the first time, 2 long hours after they swept you away to get you breathing and stable.

In the beginning I wrote down every feeding because I wanted to make sure you were getting enough to eat. If you slept more than three hours at night I woke to nurse you so you could grow big and strong. You were so little then and I was so worried that you weren’t gaining enough weight.  I took you to a breastfeeding support group every week to have you weighed.  Your Daddy couldn’t feed you but he helped me. When we were still learning how to nurse it took both my hands to hold your squirmy little body close to mine. Daddy brought me water with a straw and held it so I could drink while you did. Nursing you used to make me so thirsty, it would hit me all at once and I would yell to your daddy for water.

Nursing wasn’t always easy as it is now.  For 3 months it was extremely painful and hard.  It was exhausting to be the only one who could feed you, and to be so worried all the time about you gaining enough weight.  It did not feel natural at first, it took time and support from friends for us both to learn what we were doing.  But it also felt so right, like how a mama was meant to love her baby. I knew from the very beginning that formula was not ever going to be an option, so we worked through it and figured it out.   My friends said it would be worth it . . . and it surpassed all my expectations.  

You never really took a bottle or a binky, you never formed an attachment to a lovey, a blanket, or anything else- just to me.  Nursing was what would put you to sleep, calm you down, give you peace.  Even now it’s just about the only time you lie still in my arms, cuddling with me.  You are a busy toddler now, but when you nurse you are at rest and content.

By the time you were 6 months old, and had your first bite of solid food, you had nursed about 1,440 times.  100% mama grown- for 15 months, first in my belly, then at my breast, I had nourished you. And you were perfect.  After starting solid foods you still preferred to nurse, not eating many solids until several months later.

 To be continued . . .

Friday 1/18/13  

Tonight, I’m thinking of how we might only have three times of nursing left, this makes me want to bawl my eyes out but I stop myself because this might not be the end.  I’m reflecting on how sweet it has been to nurse you lately.  You sometime stop in the middle and point to my eye or nose and say the word and then latch back on.  Sometimes if you heard the dogs bark you would stop to bark and then continue nursing.  If you happened to feel like playing with my face, sometimes I would hold your hand and blow raspberries on you little palm, then you would grin and giggle while nursing.  Lately every time I say it’s time for bed and to go “nigh night” you say “nurse! nurse!” and you tap your chest (our sign for nurse), then when I first lift up my shirt to nurse you you always say “belly” and put your cold little hand on my stomach.  Tonight when you stared nursing you were so active, grabbing my glasses off my face or putting your fingers in my mouth as you nursed, but before long you were at peace.  First you just looked up at me with your little hand on my side, then your eyelids started to droop and would stay closed for seconds at a time.  As I watched you, I tried to memorize your sweet, peaceful face.  You looked just like when you were a baby, nestled up against me.  Perfect.  My sweet girl.