Preschool! BSF!

Quinn with her backpack full of new school supplies- "I can carry my backpack all by myself because I'm big and strong to carry it."

The first day of preschool we were 10 minutes early (that never happens) and Quinn was so excited she kept saying "Let me out of the car! I want to go to Preschool!"  She marched right in there and disappeared into new friends and play spaces.  I didn't cry but got a little teary eyed as I hesitantly left the drop off area, craning my neck to try to sneak a peek at what she had gravitate to first.  Alas, among the commotion I could not spot her.  It makes me sad to think of her spending time without me, learning new things, meeting new friends, social interactions and toddler conversations that I will never overhear.  But this is good.  Really good.  For her and for me.  I went home and snuggled Sawyer into his nap.  Then I edited her first day of school photos and explored Photoshop and learned how to make chalkboard fonts, I listened to NPR, I made a couple phone calls, I cleaned up from breakfast.  I started to filled up.  This introvert needed some "me time".  And not just a veg in front of the tv to take the edge off (because by the time the kids are in bed at night that's all I have the energy to do).  But real, productive, ME time, doing things that fill my cup. 
All of the sudden it was 11 and I rushed upstairs to wake up Sawyer.  Her second day (today) she clung to me a bit more, wanted me to go in with her, but was quickly persuaded by the TA Ms. Liz to check out the legos.  Today I looked over our calendar, listened to the sermon we missed Sunday, drank my coffee.  I was pretty amazing. 

Preschool is just Tuesday and Thursday mornings 8:45-11:15.  It works perfectly with Sawyer's nap.  Then we have BSF on Wednesdays.  We started our first BSF yesterday and I felt God's peace and presence the moment I stepped into the building.  Quinn was so excited and kept talking about her teachers from last yr even as I explained that she would have new teachers this year.  Well God blessed us big time because she has Mrs. Henke again this year and her new teacher is Mrs. Wright (Mrs. Emily).  And the second best news is that Sawyer has her other teacher from last year, Mrs. Carpenter!  Wonderful for my heart to know they will be loved on, taught, and prayed for all year. 

The say each Wednesday to the kids, "This is the Bible.  The Holy Bible.  It is God's word and it is true."

And for me, I breathed it all in. 

Numbers 12:7-8
"But this is not true of my servant Moses;
    he is faithful in all my house.
With him I speak face to face,
    clearly and not in riddles;
    he sees the form of the Lord.
Why then were you not afraid
    to speak against my servant Moses?”

In the KJ version it says "mouth to mouth".  That is powerful.  That is an intimate relationship bw God and Moses.  Mouth to mouth. Breath to breath.  As God breathed us into life. 

“The letters of the name of God in Hebrew… are infrequently pronounced Yahweh. But in truth they are inutterable….

This word {YHWH} is the sound of breathing.

The holiest name in the world, the Name of Creator, is the sound of your own breathing. That these letters are unpronounceable is no accident. Just as it is no accident that they are also the root letters of the Hebrew verb ‘to be’… God’s name is name of Being itself.”

~Rabbi Lawrence Kushner

It will be hard to get there, hard to do the lessons, hard to fight the guilt of Sawyer missing his nap.  But I will trust that God will bless my children and me in my commitment to be there the best that I can.  I trust that being in this community, being in His word, my children being taught, loved on, and prayed for, is more valuable then missed sleep, long drives, and rushed lunches.  God will provide.  But as Christy, our leader, said at the end of her sermon: "Expect some resistance."  The day you get up early to do your lesson, the baby will wake up early too. Etc. Etc.  So true.  Satan doesn't want us there.  I saw this last year and I will pray against it again this year.

I'm excited about what God is going to do this year.  In me, our kids, our marriage, our Corpus group, our church.  Thank you Jesus.